1---
  2title: My journey from being an internet über consumer to being a full hominum again
  3url: from-internet-consumer-to-full-hominum-again.html
  4date: 2021-07-30T12:00:00+02:00
  5type: post
  6draft: true
  7---
  8
  9It's been almost a year since I started purging all my online accounts and 
 10going down this rabbit hole of being almost independent of the current internet
 11machine. Even though I initially thought that I will have problems adapting,
 12I was pleasantly surprised that the transition went so smoothly. Even better,
 13it brought many benefits to my life. Such as increased focus, less stress
 14about trivial things, etc.
 15
 16It all started with me doing small changes like unsubscribing from emails that I
 17have either subscribed to by accepting terms and conditions. Or even some more
 18malicious emails that I was getting because I was on a shared mailing list. And
 19the later ones I hate the most of all. How the hell do they keep sharing my
 20email and sending me unsolicited emails and get away with it? I have a suspicion
 21that these marketing people share an Excel file between them and keep
 22resubscribing me when they import lists into Mailchimp or similar software.
 23
 24It's fascinating to see how much crap you get subscribed to when you are not
 25paying attention. It got so bad that my primary Gmail address is a full of junk
 26and need constant monitoring and cleaning up. And because I want to have Inbox
 27Zero, this presents an additional problem for me.
 28
 29The stress that email presented for me didn't occur to me for a long time. I was
 30noticing that I was unable to go through one single hour without hysterically
 31refreshing email. And if somebody wrote me something, I needed to see it right
 32then, even though I didn't immediately reply to it. I can only describe this
 33with FOMO (fear of missing out). I have no other explanation than that. It was
 34crippling, and I was constantly context switching, which I will address further
 35down this post in more details.
 36
 37This was one of the reasons why I spawned up my personal email server, and I am
 38using it now as my primary and person email. I still have Gmail as my “junk”
 39email that I use for throw away stuff. I log in to Gmail once a week and check
 40if there are any important emails that I got, but apart from that, it's sitting
 41dormant and collecting dust.
 42
 43The more I was watching the world loose it's self with allowing anti freedom
 44things to happen to it, the more I started to realize that something has to
 45change. I don't have the power to change the world. And I also don't have a
 46grandiose opinion of myself to even think to try it. But what I can do is to not
 47subscribe to this consumer way of thinking. I will not be complicit in this. My
 48moral and ethical stances won't allow it. So, this brings us to the second part
 49of my journey.
 50
 51I was using all these 3rd party services because I was either lazy or OK with
 52the drawbacks of them. I watched these services and companies became more and
 53privacy policies and everybody is OK with accepting them, and they pray on that
 54more evil. It is evil if you sell your user's data in this manner. Nobody reads
 55flaw in human nature. I really hate the hypocrisy they manage to muster. These
 56companies prey on our laziness, and we are at fault here. Nobody else. And I
 57truly understand the reasons why we rather accept and move on, and not object
 58and have our lives a little more difficult. They have perfected this through
 59years of small changes that make us a little more dependent on them. You could
 60not convince a person to give away all his rights and data in one day. This was
 61gradual and slow. And it caught us all in surprise. When I really stopped and
 62thought about it, I felt repulsed. By really stopping and thinking about it, I
 63really mean stopping and thinking about it. Thoroughly and in depth.
 64
 65Each step I took depleted my character a bit more. Like I was trading myself bit
 66by bit without understanding what it all meant. What it meant to be a full
 67person, not divided by all this bought attention they want from me. They don't
 68just get your data, but they also take your attention away from you. They
 69scatter your and go with the divide and conquer tactic from there. And a person
 70divided is a person not fully there. Not at the moment. Not alive fully.
 71
 72I was unable to form long thoughts. Well, I thought I was. But now that I see
 73what being a full person is again, I can see that I was not at my 100% back
 74then.
 75
 76A revolt was inevitable. There was no other way of continuing my story without
 77it. Without taking back my attention, my thoughts, my time, and my privacy,
 78regardless of how too late it maybe is.
 79
 80This has nothing to do with conspiracy theories. Even less with changing the
 81world. All I wanted was to get my life back in order and not waste the energy
 82that could be spent in other, better places.
 83
 84I started reading more. I can focus now fully on things I work on. Furthermore,
 85I have the mental acuity that I never had before. My mind feels sharp. I don't
 86get angry so much. I can cherish the finer things in life now without the need
 87to interpret them intellectually. Not only that, but I have a feeling of
 88belonging again. Sense of purpose has returned with a vengeance. And I can now
 89help people without depleting myself.
 90
 91The last step so far was to finish closing all the remaining online accounts
 92that I still had. And when I was thinking what value they bring me, I wasn't
 93surprised that the answer was none. I wasn't logging in them and using them.  I
 94stopped being afraid of FOMO. If somebody wants to get in contact me, they will
 95find a way. I am one search away.
 96
 97We are not beholden to anybody. Our lives are our own. So dare yourself to
 98delete Facebook, LinkedIn. To unsubscribe. Dare yourself to take your time and
 99attention back. Use that time and energy to go for a walk without thinking about
100work. Read a book instead of reading comment on social media that you will
101forget in an hour. Enrich your life instead of wasting it. It only requires a
102small step. And you will feel the benefits immediately. Lose the weight of the
103world that is crushing you without your consent.