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+---
+title: My journey from being an internet über consumer to being a full hominum again
+permalink: /from-internet-consumer-to-full-hominum-again.html
+date: 2021-07-30T12:00:00+02:00
+layout: post
+type: post
+draft: false
+---
+
+It's been almost a year since I started purging all my online accounts and 
+going down this rabbit hole of being almost independent of the current internet
+machine. Even though I initially thought that I will have problems adapting,
+I was pleasantly surprised that the transition went so smoothly. Even better,
+it brought many benefits to my life. Such as increased focus, less stress
+about trivial things, etc.
+
+It all started with me doing small changes like unsubscribing from emails that I
+have either subscribed to by accepting terms and conditions. Or even some more
+malicious emails that I was getting because I was on a shared mailing list. And
+the later ones I hate the most of all. How the hell do they keep sharing my
+email and sending me unsolicited emails and get away with it? I have a suspicion
+that these marketing people share an Excel file between them and keep
+resubscribing me when they import lists into Mailchimp or similar software.
+
+It's fascinating to see how much crap you get subscribed to when you are not
+paying attention. It got so bad that my primary Gmail address is a full of junk
+and need constant monitoring and cleaning up. And because I want to have Inbox
+Zero, this presents an additional problem for me.
+
+The stress that email presented for me didn't occur to me for a long time. I was
+noticing that I was unable to go through one single hour without hysterically
+refreshing email. And if somebody wrote me something, I needed to see it right
+then, even though I didn't immediately reply to it. I can only describe this
+with FOMO (fear of missing out). I have no other explanation than that. It was
+crippling, and I was constantly context switching, which I will address further
+down this post in more details.
+
+This was one of the reasons why I spawned up my personal email server, and I am
+using it now as my primary and person email. I still have Gmail as my “junk”
+email that I use for throw away stuff. I log in to Gmail once a week and check
+if there are any important emails that I got, but apart from that, it's sitting
+dormant and collecting dust.
+
+The more I was watching the world loose it's self with allowing anti freedom
+things to happen to it, the more I started to realize that something has to
+change. I don't have the power to change the world. And I also don't have a
+grandiose opinion of myself to even think to try it. But what I can do is to not
+subscribe to this consumer way of thinking. I will not be complicit in this. My
+moral and ethical stances won't allow it. So, this brings us to the second part
+of my journey.
+
+I was using all these 3rd party services because I was either lazy or OK with
+the drawbacks of them. I watched these services and companies became more and
+privacy policies and everybody is OK with accepting them, and they pray on that
+more evil. It is evil if you sell your user's data in this manner. Nobody reads
+flaw in human nature. I really hate the hypocrisy they manage to muster. These
+companies prey on our laziness, and we are at fault here. Nobody else. And I
+truly understand the reasons why we rather accept and move on, and not object
+and have our lives a little more difficult. They have perfected this through
+years of small changes that make us a little more dependent on them. You could
+not convince a person to give away all his rights and data in one day. This was
+gradual and slow. And it caught us all in surprise. When I really stopped and
+thought about it, I felt repulsed. By really stopping and thinking about it, I
+really mean stopping and thinking about it. Thoroughly and in depth.
+
+Each step I took depleted my character a bit more. Like I was trading myself bit
+by bit without understanding what it all meant. What it meant to be a full
+person, not divided by all this bought attention they want from me. They don't
+just get your data, but they also take your attention away from you. They
+scatter your and go with the divide and conquer tactic from there. And a person
+divided is a person not fully there. Not at the moment. Not alive fully.
+
+I was unable to form long thoughts. Well, I thought I was. But now that I see
+what being a full person is again, I can see that I was not at my 100% back
+then.
+
+A revolt was inevitable. There was no other way of continuing my story without
+it. Without taking back my attention, my thoughts, my time, and my privacy,
+regardless of how too late it maybe is.
+
+This has nothing to do with conspiracy theories. Even less with changing the
+world. All I wanted was to get my life back in order and not waste the energy
+that could be spent in other, better places.
+
+I started reading more. I can focus now fully on things I work on. Furthermore,
+I have the mental acuity that I never had before. My mind feels sharp. I don't
+get angry so much. I can cherish the finer things in life now without the need
+to interpret them intellectually. Not only that, but I have a feeling of
+belonging again. Sense of purpose has returned with a vengeance. And I can now
+help people without depleting myself.
+
+The last step so far was to finish closing all the remaining online accounts
+that I still had. And when I was thinking what value they bring me, I wasn't
+surprised that the answer was none. I wasn't logging in them and using them.  I
+stopped being afraid of FOMO. If somebody wants to get in contact me, they will
+find a way. I am one search away.
+
+We are not beholden to anybody. Our lives are our own. So dare yourself to
+delete Facebook, LinkedIn. To unsubscribe. Dare yourself to take your time and
+attention back. Use that time and energy to go for a walk without thinking about
+work. Read a book instead of reading comment on social media that you will
+forget in an hour. Enrich your life instead of wasting it. It only requires a
+small step. And you will feel the benefits immediately. Lose the weight of the
+world that is crushing you without your consent.