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authorMitja Felicijan <m@mitjafelicijan.com>2023-07-08 23:25:41 +0200
committerMitja Felicijan <m@mitjafelicijan.com>2023-07-08 23:25:41 +0200
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1---
2title: My journey from being an internet über consumer to being a full hominum again
3url: from-internet-consumer-to-full-hominum-again.html
4date: 2021-07-30T12:00:00+02:00
5draft: false
6---
7
8It's been almost a year since I started purging all my online accounts and
9going down this rabbit hole of being almost independent of the current internet
10machine. Even though I initially thought that I will have problems adapting,
11I was pleasantly surprised that the transition went so smoothly. Even better,
12it brought many benefits to my life. Such as increased focus, less stress
13about trivial things, etc.
14
15It all started with me doing small changes like unsubscribing from emails that I
16have either subscribed to by accepting terms and conditions. Or even some more
17malicious emails that I was getting because I was on a shared mailing list. And
18the later ones I hate the most of all. How the hell do they keep sharing my
19email and sending me unsolicited emails and get away with it? I have a suspicion
20that these marketing people share an Excel file between them and keep
21resubscribing me when they import lists into Mailchimp or similar software.
22
23It's fascinating to see how much crap you get subscribed to when you are not
24paying attention. It got so bad that my primary Gmail address is a full of junk
25and need constant monitoring and cleaning up. And because I want to have Inbox
26Zero, this presents an additional problem for me.
27
28The stress that email presented for me didn't occur to me for a long time. I was
29noticing that I was unable to go through one single hour without hysterically
30refreshing email. And if somebody wrote me something, I needed to see it right
31then, even though I didn't immediately reply to it. I can only describe this
32with FOMO (fear of missing out). I have no other explanation than that. It was
33crippling, and I was constantly context switching, which I will address further
34down this post in more details.
35
36This was one of the reasons why I spawned up my personal email server, and I am
37using it now as my primary and person email. I still have Gmail as my “junk”
38email that I use for throw away stuff. I log in to Gmail once a week and check
39if there are any important emails that I got, but apart from that, it's sitting
40dormant and collecting dust.
41
42The more I was watching the world loose it's self with allowing anti freedom
43things to happen to it, the more I started to realize that something has to
44change. I don't have the power to change the world. And I also don't have a
45grandiose opinion of myself to even think to try it. But what I can do is to not
46subscribe to this consumer way of thinking. I will not be complicit in this. My
47moral and ethical stances won't allow it. So, this brings us to the second part
48of my journey.
49
50I was using all these 3rd party services because I was either lazy or OK with
51the drawbacks of them. I watched these services and companies became more and
52privacy policies and everybody is OK with accepting them, and they pray on that
53more evil. It is evil if you sell your user's data in this manner. Nobody reads
54flaw in human nature. I really hate the hypocrisy they manage to muster. These
55companies prey on our laziness, and we are at fault here. Nobody else. And I
56truly understand the reasons why we rather accept and move on, and not object
57and have our lives a little more difficult. They have perfected this through
58years of small changes that make us a little more dependent on them. You could
59not convince a person to give away all his rights and data in one day. This was
60gradual and slow. And it caught us all in surprise. When I really stopped and
61thought about it, I felt repulsed. By really stopping and thinking about it, I
62really mean stopping and thinking about it. Thoroughly and in depth.
63
64Each step I took depleted my character a bit more. Like I was trading myself bit
65by bit without understanding what it all meant. What it meant to be a full
66person, not divided by all this bought attention they want from me. They don't
67just get your data, but they also take your attention away from you. They
68scatter your and go with the divide and conquer tactic from there. And a person
69divided is a person not fully there. Not at the moment. Not alive fully.
70
71I was unable to form long thoughts. Well, I thought I was. But now that I see
72what being a full person is again, I can see that I was not at my 100% back
73then.
74
75A revolt was inevitable. There was no other way of continuing my story without
76it. Without taking back my attention, my thoughts, my time, and my privacy,
77regardless of how too late it maybe is.
78
79This has nothing to do with conspiracy theories. Even less with changing the
80world. All I wanted was to get my life back in order and not waste the energy
81that could be spent in other, better places.
82
83I started reading more. I can focus now fully on things I work on. Furthermore,
84I have the mental acuity that I never had before. My mind feels sharp. I don't
85get angry so much. I can cherish the finer things in life now without the need
86to interpret them intellectually. Not only that, but I have a feeling of
87belonging again. Sense of purpose has returned with a vengeance. And I can now
88help people without depleting myself.
89
90The last step so far was to finish closing all the remaining online accounts
91that I still had. And when I was thinking what value they bring me, I wasn't
92surprised that the answer was none. I wasn't logging in them and using them. I
93stopped being afraid of FOMO. If somebody wants to get in contact me, they will
94find a way. I am one search away.
95
96We are not beholden to anybody. Our lives are our own. So dare yourself to
97delete Facebook, LinkedIn. To unsubscribe. Dare yourself to take your time and
98attention back. Use that time and energy to go for a walk without thinking about
99work. Read a book instead of reading comment on social media that you will
100forget in an hour. Enrich your life instead of wasting it. It only requires a
101small step. And you will feel the benefits immediately. Lose the weight of the
102world that is crushing you without your consent.